Sad Thoughts

October 25, 2006


Filed under: every-day life, feelings, lesbian — Lis @ 9:04 am

I have never been particulary offended of not being able to marry a girl. I have always thought of marriage as some kind of juridical action, a contract with a state, to get whatever state offers to a couple living together. And there are other ways to make these contracts, if I want to share it with a person same sex than I am. Yes, and of churches, this is a contract with god and maybe most of god don’t want to have this kind of contracts with same-sex couples. It is his/her problem, not of the couple.

But now it is all different. I want to get married. (more…)


October 1, 2006


Filed under: bisexual, feelings, lesbian — Lis @ 7:49 am

Life is just unbelievable. I met this amazing girl, and need for this blog somehow disappeared. She is so beautiful, so caring, so special… And she says that she will wait whatever time I need to settle the problems in my life, (more…)

September 10, 2006

On work and happiness

Filed under: every-day life, feelings — Lis @ 3:05 pm

It might sound peculiar, but I think I am in one of the happiest periods of my life. Leaving out childhood, which was perfect “always summer and the future called, we were ready for adventures…” But since teenage years I have never been so free to things that I like to do or had so many eagerness to really do those things. I have a place to live, which is just as big, comfortable as I need and costs just that much I can afford. Yes, there is an overwhelming sadness now and then, about once a day. But so what?! (more…)

September 9, 2006


Filed under: feelings, plans — Lis @ 4:52 pm

If I had to choose my partner fully on rational bases, leave out the sex, then first two candidates, who pop on my mind are women. The smartness, rationality of behaviour, values, social background, gentleness, looks, known diseases, … Well, my husband is just the third, which is great, actually. If I add feelings, then he comes at least second.

If he just wanted kids. I hope he will one day, just when both of our jobs are secure and when we have found the place we want to live and raise our kids. We haven’t talked about that so straight. But we have talked about the things we both think are needed for normal, happy childhood. (more…)

September 5, 2006

A little time for my own

Filed under: every-day life, feelings — Lis @ 7:12 pm

My personal life takes too much time. Some ask, whether I have any personal life at all – but thoughts of my messed-up things take too much time. I can’t concentrate on my work, because every minute I have on my own, I find myself dealing with different issues regarding my feelings or my husbands feelings or his hate of some of my friends or his gentleness and care or my own future or whether and when I want to have kids. (more…)

September 4, 2006


Filed under: bisexual, feelings — Lis @ 7:40 pm

I can’t be a lesbian because I have really enjoyed sex with a man. But I certainly do have a something for women: the first person I have ever wanted physically, was a woman. I still remember that feeling rising up from me, how beautiful and sexy she was, how lovely, how I just wanted to kiss her lips, but I knew I couldn’t do it, because she was a girl. I was barely sixteen, but I knew I couldn’t. (more…)

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